I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My boyfriend is also LDS; he is currently serving a mission and will be returning in the middle of October. Here are a few questions I am asked way too often:
How long did you and your missionary date before he left?
I tell people two years because it's much easier than counting the months. We became exclusive on January 1, 2008 and he left October 14, 2009, so we dated for a year and ten and a half months before he left. (We've been good friends since 2005 though.)
Are you waiting and dating?
If the opportunity comes up and I get asked out on a date, then sure I'll go. I like getting to know new people and I know that if I don't date at least a little while he's gone then I'll regret it. I've been stood up a few times and been on a couple of bad dates since he left, (and one good one but that's only because it was with an old friend who's serving a mission in Spain now.) So has my dating experience since he's been gone been good? No, not quite. But am I waiting and dating? I guess so, yes.
What has it been like since he left?
This is a bit of a complicated question. I will tell you how a few of the months were. . .
Month 1: Extremely difficult. I found myself crying everywhere I went; in the car, on the way to class, at work, every night. It was not fun. It was also very lonely. Zach and I had spent almost every night hanging out for two years, it was quite a shock to just not have him around anymore.
Month 4: Got a little easier, I had become friends with some other girls who have missionaries also. I finally had friends! We were hanging out and talking about our missionaries. It really helped having friends that knew exactly what I was going through and could relate.
Month 12: It seemed unreal when it got here, I could not believe it had been a year already. It was a very depressing month as I was beginning to remember all the feelings I'd had exaclty a year ago. I didn't like it and it wasn't easy. Luckily, I'd rekindled an old friendship with a friend that was friends with Zachary also, so I had someone who knew him that could talk with me about him. It helped.
Month 17 (current month): Not any easier. Now that I'm getting close to his six months left mark, I'm beginning to freak out. I've gotten so used to him being gone, I'm getting so nervous! I have no idea what it's going to be like when he gets back. I don't feel ready either, I want to lose about 15-20 pounds and buy a new wardrobe before he gets home. I better get busy working on that!
Do you think you two will get married?
That's a hard question. It's something I could see happening and it's something that I would love to happen, but I can't say that yes I think we will get married because I am not psychic. Do I hope we get married, though? Yes!!!
Waiting is definitely not the easiest thing in the world. There are good days and there are bad days. There are days when you're mad he left you, and there are days when you remember why he's gone and you're proud of him. I am very thankful for this experience. As hard as it may be, I am learning so much that I wouldn't have ever learned otherwise. And so, that brings me to the next part of this post:
Things That I Have Learned Waiting For A Missionary That I Would Have Never Learned Had I Not Made The Decision To Wait For Him!
Friends are important. You may think that all you need is your significant other to be happy, but that is not true. I have made so many friends since Zachary left that I would have never made otherwise. Jordan, Lesha, Kristin, Lara, Laurie, Emily, Tay, Brooklyn, and the list just goes on and on. I cannot stress enough how important girl friends are especially. What I would do without these girls in my life I do not know. Every girl needs some girl friends, and I am so grateful for mine! I love these girls (and Jordan) so stinking much! SO so much!
Distance only makes the love stronger. I think a long distance relationship brings out a completely different type of love that you never experience unless you go through it. Loving each other through letters is an amazing experience. We are able to discuss things that were never talked about in person. Since we're only communicating through letters, the love in the letters are so much stronger.
Not only does the missionary receive blessings for serving a mission, but the ones who support what he's doing do as well! When I am doing all I can to help Zachary be the best missionary he can be, I see changes in my own life. I feel like I am receiving so many blessings, and I have seen a dramatic change in my life in certain areas.
People change, and it's not always a bad thing. I was always scared of change and scared that Zach and I would change too much while he was gone. Well he's been gone for a year and a half, and I have learned that it is truly impossible for someone not to change in that amount of time. Fortunately, change is not always a bad thing. I have noticed not only in Zachary, but in myself, changes in us that have made us better people. We are fixing our flaws and becoming better people.
I am so grateful for this experience and would not trade it for the world. I love my missionary more than anything, and even though it's extremely difficult, it's comforting knowing that he's doing what he's supposed to be and we will be greatly blessed in the future because of it.
