I should only stress about important things like bears, but I can't help but stress about this!

Long title for a blog post, I know I know.

There are a few things that I am good at. I work well with handicapped children and adults, I'm a pretty good babysitter, and I can be easily entertained. But one thing I am not good at is Math. It's so hard because I just can't remember it. I can pay attention in class, I can take notes, and I understand it. But once it gets to the homework or test, my mind goes blank. If I am being walked through the problem, I can do it no problem. I just can't do it by myself. Because of this, I have decided to take a break from school. It is the hardest decision I have ever made. I want to get a degree and I want to be the best person I can be, but I feel like Math is holding me back. . .

Maybe it's not even the math, maybe it's just me. Maybe I don't have the motivation I should for school; actually I know I don't. I don't know why I haven't been motivated lately, I'm just having a hard time wanting to go on with it. I'm having a hard time seeing the big picture. It blows because I feel like a failure, like I'm giving up, like I'm a horrible and lazy person, but I don't know what else to do. I'm unhappy and can't figure out how to fix it. I'm praying that taking a break from school will help put my mind back where it should be, help make me realize how important school is, and help me find that motivation I lost. It won't be easy not going to school, but I don't know what else to do. I need to get my life back in order and I'm crossing my fingers that this is the right direction my life should be heading in at the moment. . .

Really nervous about this decision. . .sigh.

The Month of May

I cannot wait for May! It is going to be a fantastic month! There are quite a few things going on that I am freaking out about!
To start, the weather will be nicer and that means more sun, more heat, less jackets! (I love Spring!)

I have made so many friends since Zachary has left, and I love them all to death! The first weekend in May I get to go hang out with some of them and I am so excited! These girls bring out the best in me and make me so happy, I can't wait to be around them!

Allred is playing in May and I am hoping so bad that I will be able to go to it! It has been so long since I've been to one of his concerts! Too long!

Spring semester of school is ending! I will be done with school for, quite a while. I am taking a break to get some of my life organized, get some more money saved, take some time for me, and find ways to be happy. Being happy is something I often struggle with, and I am very excited to be a little more stress free and be able to focus on myself a little more. Woo!

I get to go on a tour of a fire station and the zoo for work and I am so excited! It will be so fun, (as long as none of the clients have any behaviors,) I love the zoo! And firefighters!

Mother's day is in May! I am not  mother, but I have one! And I got her a pretty awesome gift. (I love my mom!) But also, missionaries get to call their families on Mother's day, and some of the lucky girlfriends get invited to the houses to talk to their missionary also. I'm one of the lucky ones, and I am so excited! It will be our last phone call, and then five months later we'll be able to talk face to face again! I am getting so anxious and impatient and EXCITED!

I will be paying off most of my car loan! I am paying extra on my loan this month and in May, so that by June my car will be paid off! No more car payments and more money to save! Heck yes!

I was lucky enough to get a ticket to Bruno Mars' concert at the end of May, (thank you so so much mom!!)So I will get to go to that with my best friend in the entire world, my little sister, Brooklyn! I love her and I love Bruno Mars, so it will be so fun! Also, neither of us have been to a concert this big so it should be pretty exciting!


Wooo! Can May just get here faster PLEASE!?

A few things that happened this week.

• I watched the movie I'm Reed Fish. It's one of my favorites starring Jay Baruchel, Alexis Bleidel, and Schuyler Fisk. It's a true story about a boy, Reed Fish, who lives in small town, Mudd Meadows. He's engaged to his high school sweetheart, but then one of their friends comes home from college and he sort of gets torn between the two girls. It's a little depressing and slow in a few spots, but there's a good twist to it that makes it fantastic and worth watching the entire thing.

• I went into Math class and the girl sitting next to me says, "Look at my socks." I looked, and it turned out we had the same exact socks on. If you know me, you know that I do not wear matching socks, so this was kinda funny. Same brand, same blue and pink socks, ha.
• I went to the Clark Planetarium and Gateway with my girls for work. They had a lot of fun in the planetarium, but they seemed to love going into Build-A-Bear and Justice a lot more. I had fun with them and I also decided I do not go downtown enough! I love it there!
• I found out if I pay a little extra this month and next month towards my car loan, then I will have my loan paid off by the end of June. This is so exciting because I have been paying it for two years and I am so ready to start being able to save more money!
• I found sock monkey beanie babies, and I want one. I also want the panda bear pillow pet. I can't get over how cute it is!
• This week was much harder to follow the diet than last week, no idea why, but it was. I only lost one pound. I decided that I am not eating enough at the right times and it's causing problems. If I were eating the right amount then maybe I wouldn't gain when I ate one french fry or a piece of pizza. I'm not writing down what I eat anymore on paper, but I keep it in my phone, just so that I can keep track of how many calories I eat each day. I still drink 100oz. of water and don't eat after 8pm, so that's awesome. My biggest problem though has been . . .my nutella. I love it. I've been putting it on everything, (ok not everything, but I've been eating more than I should, no wonder I didn't lose much,) and it wasn't until yesterday that I brought up the courage to look at the calories. YIKES! Luckily I didn't have much left so I just chucked it, and hopefully now that my biggest temptation is gone I'll be able to do better. Cross my fingers!
• I got pushed out of a van by one of my clients. Luckily it was not in motion.
• I went to a boutique with my mom, sister, and soon to be sister-in-law. I should not have. I bought some awesome new headbands, rings, and a peacock necklace that is gorgeous! I also made my mom pick out her mother's day gift so I got that all out of the way!

One week!

It has been one week of my diet, er, lifestyle. (Lifestyle! Lifestyle!) It went really well and I haven't cheated once. I have lost a total of three pounds so far. . . I wish I had lost more, but three is all right for one week and I do realize that losing weight takes time. I'm going to keep working on this. I'm not saying it's not difficult at times; it's hard when my older sister makes cookies, when my roommates make super bad but super good smelling dinner, when I'm at Subway and want to make it a meal, when I go to Hatch Family Chocolates with my sister, and when my best friend brings fast food over, but it's worth it. I have gone a whole week without any bad food in my system, and I feel fantastic. I have to write about how eating so healthy makes me feel, because when I eat junk I forget how great it feels when you are healthy. I need to remember. . .

1. How happy I feel when I try some clothes on I haven't worn in months and they fit again!
2. How motivating compliments are! Especially when you see someone you haven't seen in a while and they tell you how great you look! GREAT motivation!
3. How I feel better inside and out. I feel like I look good and I feel clean inside. It's a really good feeling.

Wish me luck as I begin week two of my lifestyle! Going to a party tomorrow night and they're making fish tacos, one of my favorites!! It's going to suck, but I have to keep telling myself, IT IS WORTH IT!

My Bucket List

1. Write my life story.
2. Tour a real haunted house
3. Go skydiving
4. Go on a roadtrip to another state
5. Participate in a food fight
6. Get married in the temple
7. Go to Germany
8. Get a picture with fireworks in the background
9. Sing in a karaoke bar
10. Shake hands with a monkey
11. Write a children's book
12. Volunteer in a vineyard
13. Try surfing
14. Catch a fish
15. Paint a self portrait
16. Experience an earthquake
17. Paint a mural
18. Get my fortune told
19. Live in a different country for at least 6 months
20. Go hang gliding
21. Bury a time capsule
22. Go skinny dipping
23. Be an extra in a movie
24. Swim with something big (dolphins, sharks, etc.)
25. Take a cooking class
26. Eat Escargot
27. Photograph an endangered species
28. Own a dog
29. Run away for a day
30. Buy a star
31. Attend a music festival in another country
32. Spend the night in a historic hotel
33. Stay out all night and go to work the next day without having gone home
34. Learn to ride a unicycle
35. Visit a concentration camp
36. Be an audience member of a talk show
37. Set off a fire extinguisher
38. Ride a mechanical bull
39. Gamble in Vegas
40. Learn to dive into a swimming pool
41. Visit Graceland
42. Go horseback riding
43. Take a shower under a waterfall
44. Visit Area 51
45. Solve a Rubik's cube
46. Spend Christmas on vacation
47. Participate in a protest
48. Learn to play a song on the guitar
49. Buy some scratchers
50. Read the Book of Mormon
51. Dye my hair black
52. Teach someone illiterate to read
53. Eat some chocolate covered bugs
54. Climb an active volcano
55. Make a quilt
56. Run a 10k
57. Go zorbing
58. Ride a Tandem bicycle
59. Plant a tree
60. Get a picture in front of the Whitehouse
61. Go to Sea World
62. Own and be able to use a pogo stick
63. Learn sign language
64. Make 1000 paper cranes
65. Try fencing
66. Get a new car
67. Send a message in a bottle
68. Write a song
69. Learn to belly dance
70. Spend a day at a spa
71. See Cirque du Soleil
72. Eat a hot dog from a hot dog stand
73. Sleep one night in a hammock
74. Learn to drive stick
75. Ride in a limousine
76. Spend a week with all electronics off
77. Get a photograph with a major celebrity
78. Buy a house
79. Wear a bikini
80. Take a self defense class
81. Try gouda cheese
82. Go on a cruise
83. Ride the Stratosphere in Vegas
84. Spend a weekend in a cabin with my love
85. Participate in a Chinese Fire Drill
86. Hold a tarantula
87. Build a snow fort
88. Complete a 1000 piece puzzle
89. Sell something to a pawn shop
90. Go ice fishing
91. Color an entire coloring book
92. Ride in a helicopter
93. Learn to make some balloon animals
94. Go dancing and NOT be self conscious
95. Buy something from a flea market
96. Go swimming in a public fountain
97. Splurge on an accessory
98. Make homemade ice cream
99. Visit every temple in Utah
100. Be a mother

Happy Birthday Lynnli!

My niece turns 3 years old tomorrow, so she celebrated today with a party at Jungle Jim's! Who remembers that place?? I remember going to a birthday party there when I was little, stealing tokens, and having to share all the candy I got with them with the other kids at the party. . . It was embarrassing, I was such a brat. Anyway, my niece had an awesome chocolate with whipped cream frosting cake (that I didn't have any of, be proud of me,) and she got some awesome gifts! Play food, a little shopping cart, Tangled DVD and toys, easy bake oven, play dough, just super awesome things! I can't believe my little niece is 3! Time goes by way too fast!!

Happy Birthday Lynnli! I love you, you stinker!

Day 1

So today was the first day of my new "lifestyle," and it went pretty well. Now it's not over yet, but I'm having dinner right now and going to a movie with my best friend at 7pm, and since I'm not eating after 8pm, I should be good!

I woke up this morning and was supposed to go to Zumba, but. . . I didn't. I went back to sleep instead. HOW COULD I DO THAT?!! I love zumba! But I was exhausted and just slept right through it! I will do better at that I swear!

On the bright side, my eating has been fantastic! Here's what I had:

Breakfast:
1/2 cup of fiber one cereal, dry (not a fan of milk): 60 calories.

Lunch:
6 in. veggie sub from Subway (included 2 slices of cheese, lettuce, tomato, olives, pickles, banana peppers, cucumber, and a little mustard on 9 grain wheat bread): About 350 calories.

Snack:
I went grocery shopping so I nibbled on some dried cherries, grapes, and carrots. Estimated amount if calories: 100

Dinner:
Snap Peas (1/2 the package): 80 calories
Broccoli with cheese (1 package,) (I know cheese isn't good for you, but it's the steamers so it comes with the cheese on it.): 135 calories

Water: 100 oz. of water (This is easy if you carry around a 33oz. Smart Water bottle, you only have to drink three of them!)

See how awesome that is? Only 725 calories, and I feel like I've eaten so much today! BUT since I'm under 1,000 calories and that's not healthy for you, I think I'll take some almonds and dried cherries to the movies! (Just realized I haven't had protein yet today! Oops!)

I know tomorrow is going to be difficult because it's my niece's birthday, but I'm going to hope for the best and have the best will power that I can! Ahhhh! Wish me luck!!