The 5 R's

If you know me well, you know that just about everything stresses me out. School, work, confrontation, crowds, parties, people, money, cashiers, new places, etc. I'm a bit of a nervous wreck all the time. So, to help myself out, (because it was getting out of control,) I took a Stress Management class this semester in school. It helped a little as I have found a few new ways to cope, but I still get stresssed more than I should so I am going to continue working on it.

We had to do a project at the end of the semester about the 5 R's. The 5 R's are rethink, reduce, relax, release, and reorganize. We had to come up with two techniques we can use in our daily lives for each R. I found this to be extemely helpful for me as putting something like this on paper really helped my motivation to actually try to reduce my stress level instead of thinking it's not possible and giving up.

To help me remember my Stress Management plan, because we all know I'm going to lose my paper eventually and if I don't record this somewhere I'll forget it, I'm going to share my plan on here. Right down there. . . .

RETHINK

          1. Positive Thinking: I am going to let this secret out; I am one of the most negative people you could ever meet. If I say something positive, it's probably a lie. I don't like being negative, but it's really hard for me to see the good in anything. So my first technique to become stress free is to force myself to be optimistic. This may be the hardest thing for me, but if I can get myself to do this, I know that I'll be a less stressed and happier person.

         2. Pacing: I am a fast walker. I am a multi tasker. I am a busy bee. I am a time waster. I do a lot of things all the time, and if I'm not doing something, my mind is racing 100mph. I never can get myself to just relax and not think about a billion things or even take my time on the little things. I am going to work on enjoying the little things in life; good weather, compliments, no traffic. . . and quit trying to go go go.

REDUCE

          1. Time Management: I procrastinate. I mean, I get a lot done, but it's never the things I need to do, it's always things that don't matter. I love drawing, I love movies, and I love playing online, (horrible! I know.) I am going to work on finding ways to manage my time better so that I can get the have to do's finished first, and then maybe if I have free time, do the time wasting things that I love doing so much.

          2. Saying No: I'm a butt kissing people pleaser, I admit it. I hate saying no to anything and I really can't do confrontation. (Why cause conflict when it's so much easier to just say yes?) I always thought saying yes to everyone and everything was good for me because it makes everyone like me, but I recently learned that it doesn't matter how many people like you, and really it's impossible to get everybody to like you, so why sacrifice your time and well being to please someone who it actually may not be pleasing at all? Saying yes does nothing but cause stress and turn you into a push over. It's going to be hard to start saying no to people. . . . but the more you practice it, the easier it gets, right? (I hope so anyway. . . .)

RELAX

          1. Coloring: I discovered when I was 17 years old that a really good Therapeutic way of coping with things for me is to color. I don't know what it is about coloring, but it helps. A lot. After taking Stress Management though I realized I don't color enough. I never color actually. Maybe that's why things have been difficult lately? I want to get back into this as it seems to be really good for me. First thing on my shopping list: Coloring book.

          2. Music: Whether it's listening to music or singing along to music, it helps. It's actually called sound meditation. . . and it's amazing. Listening to music helps distract me for a few minutes about daily tasks or events that have caused me too much stress. I want to do this more often to help me relax more and reduce my stress. . . .I just need to buy a new Ipod first, dang it.

RELEASE

          1. Driving: I love driving far distances. Driving is my time to think about whatever I want, sing as loud as I can, or solve problems outloud. When I drive I usually am doing one of three things: singing, talking to myself, or praying. It sounds a little odd I know, but that's the only time I really do those things, and it's a huge stress reliever. I drive to Bountiful and Eagle Mountain often for my job, and those drives have really helped me with some things I've had to deal with. I love it.

          2. Zumba: Along with Stress Management, I took a Zumba class this semester. I found the days that I had Zumba I was feeling better, working harder, and smiling more. I felt better about myself and was able to problem solve easier. I always thought it was a lie when someone said exercise makes you happy, because I'd never found any exercise that I really enjoyed doing, but then I discovered Zumba. It really is so much fun and so good for you! Now that the semester is over, I'm not in Zumba anymore, but I am planning on going to a class they have by my house twice a week. We'll see how that goes, (I'm excited!)

REORGANIZE

          1. ACT List: The ACT list is a list of daily tasks you write up for yourself everyday. You divide the list into three categories; A, C, and T. The A section are the ones you have to do. The ones that you ABSOLUTELY need to get done. The C section are the ones you COULD do, but it's not the end of the world if you don't accomplish them. And the T section are the ones you can TRY to do if you want, but they're more the fun things and the wants, so it's ok to not even touch this section if you don't have time. I did this list for a week as an assignment and it was awesome.  I'm hoping to make it habitual to this list everyday. Hopefully it happens, I'm crossing my fingers!

          2. My Plan: Really this is just putting my Stress Management plan into action. I worked really hard on this plan and coming up with techniques that really do seem to help reduce my stress level and anxiety. I feel like if I can get this plan going and make steady and continual progress, then my life will completely flip around.

Woo! Here's to having a stress free life one day! (Hopefully.)

I used this to help me present my project.
(I'm proud, it's all free hand.)

I Love Love Love It.

I love making lists, it's one of my favorite things to do. That being said, I decided to make a list. This is a list of my favorite simple things. Most of which are things that I would do anything for. I love my favorite things.

• Bubble gum. Not minty gum, not just any boring chewing gum. Wrigley's Classic Bubble Gum. When I have it, I go through about a pack a day. (Makes me sound a bit like a smoker. Bahaha.) It's super addicting, and even though the flavor goes away fast, it's tastes amazing.
• Kitchen supplies. I don't know what it is about kitchen supplies that I love so much, but I get way too excited every time I get something new for my kitchen. My parents gave me a container for my cereal for Easter and I was so excited!!
• Slinkies. They can keep me busy for hours. I used to have one, but some kids got a hold of it and sort of destroyed it. Mine was a purple plastic one, but the metal ones are definitely the best. They're almost therapeutic for me. I get anxious and stressed extremely easy, but keeping my hands busy usually help calm me down. Who wouldn't love a slinky?
• New Music. I'll listen to the radio, but it's not so much my favorite. What I really like is looking for new artists or songs; and I really love acoustics, covers, and instrumental songs. They're almost always better than the original, (at least the ones I find are.)
• Downtown. I love going downtown. Driving around down there in the summer time, listening to some awesome music, and having someone awesome with you, is the perfect day for me. I really love Sugarhouse park, and there's a Red Robin downtown that just makes me happy every time I drive past it, (cute memory there.) Duh, I want to go for a drive downtown now!
• Earrings. Whether they're big and chunky or little studs, I love earrings I can't live without them. When I don't wear earrings I feel naked, like something isn't right, and that makes me have a bad day. Because feeling naked in front of people is not a good feeling.
• Movies. I have a horrible addiction to movies. I try not to go to Blockbuster because I always end up leaving with the 4 for $20 deal, and Walmart's $5 bin is a disaster. If I see a movie in there that I've seen once and thought it was all right, watched when I was little, or have never seen but thinks it looks decent, I buy it. I probably haven't watched 15% of my movie collection, because I've never really had a desire to actually sit and watch them. But they always seemed like a good investment at the time.
• Notebooks. I like notebooks. I love doodling. I love writing nonsense. I don't let people go through my notebooks because they're usually filled with stupid drawings and random thoughts I felt like writing down. But I love doing it!
• People watching. If you haven't done it, you seriously need to. I can be really shy or seem extremely antisocial, but I'm not really, (ok I am.) But sometimes I'm not, sometimes I'm just watching you or people around you and analyzing what they're doing. So just so you know, if you catch me staring at you, I'm not a creeper. I'm just quietly judging you. (Not really, I try not to judge, but I do try to figure you out.)
• Boy's hair. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with it, but it is so fun to play with it's not even funny. And it's always really soft, (well, depending on who it is I guess. But every guy's hair I've ever played with is awesome.) It's way too fun and I can't get enough of it.

That's all. Just ten. Ten of my favorite simple things.

BZZZZZZZZZZT!

Something that bothers me so so so much is when a phone vibrates so loud, it might as well not be on vibrate. I mean, come on! Vibrate is supposed to make the phone more discreet so that it doesn't disrupt others, but some phones vibrate so loud it's ridiculous! Take my phone for example, I have the LG Chocolate Touch. I usually keep it on silent because the vibrate mode drives me nuts! It'll be in my pocket during a work meeting, and all of a sudden everyone hears, "BZZZZZZZZZT!" It's even worse when you get a call, because then it makes that annoying buzzing sound repeatedly, and you have to rush to either answer or ignore. (Speak of the devil, phone just vibrated. Blech.) What is the point of vibrate if it doesn't make the phone quieter?! My sister's phone is even worse than mine. Her phone vibrates just as loud, but it goes off three or four times for every message she gets, and she's quite the texter so it goes off lots. When vibrating phones are louder than the actual tones, it's time to quit using vibrate and silence your phones people!
Hey guys, phones are annoying.

BFF

I have some good friends, I do!

Brooklyn is the best friend that everyone wants. Not only is she super fun and acts way mature for her age, but she is also my little sister. We didn't always get along, but we've been super close for almost a year now. She is hilarious and we share the same interests. It's impossible not to be myself around her and she doesn't hide how much she cares. She's beautiful and the coolest little girl ever.

Every girl wants a best guy friend. Jordan is mine, and I am so lucky to have him. He's fun to be around and makes me happy. He is constantly making me laugh and I love that. (Funny guys are the best guys!) He occasionally makes me feel stupid, but honestly, who doesn't make me feel stupid? Ha. . . he's very honest, which is very good for me, and he's such an amazing guy. (He's also single and quite the catch ladies!!)

Leshabird is the best! She is gorgeous, loud, and adorable. She is the only person I can be anywhere with and be my complete self. She brings the loud out of me and I love it. (We even danced on a jumbotron together!) I love this girl and would do anything for her!

Kristin is the best friend that everyone needs. She is the most caring, sweet, thoughtful, and honestly nice (not fake nice) person you could ever meet. She cares about everyone and has good things to say about every person she meets. She is beautiful and just the best and I love her!

Zachary is not only my best friend, but my missionary. He is extremely smart, down to earth, has the best sense of humor, and is very thoughtful. He is a great match for me and we are just awesome when we're together. We have a ton of the same interests, but enough different ones that everything is still interesting. We've been best friends for years and years and together for years. He is the ying to my yang, he's the right shoe and I'm the left, he's my other half. I love this guy.

My friends are the best, and I love them so stinking much! I wish I could go on and on about every single one of my friends that I love, but this post would never end!

Aren't best friends amazing??

Amazing!

One Fourth

Twenty-four. . . eighteen. . . twelve. . . and now six. I cannot believe it has been eighteen months since Zachary left on his mission. What a rocky, exciting, depressing, learning experience the past eighteen months have been. Would I have ever chosen to have a missionary? No, I definitely would not have. When my parents told me not to date exclusively in high school, this is exactly the reason why. You date exclusive, you get attached, and everything becomes difficult. . .

I remember once when I was younger, I'm guessing ten, my dad asked me what I would do if I had a boyfriend when I got older who said he wasn't going to go on a mission because he wanted to stay home with me. I told him, "Dad, I would say to him, 'You go on a mission or I will not marry you, because I am only going to marry a returned missionary!!!'" . . .Then I grew up and got stuck in a situation where that could happen and I wouldn't stop him from staying home. I never planned to have a missionary. I always figured I would date in high school and then once out I would date the older returned missionaries, I never expected my high school relationships to go far. But then all of a sudden my high school relationship had turned into something more, and my boyfriend had to make that decision to stay home with me and his family, or leave on a mission. I also had to make the decision to dump him and not waste two years, or take my chances and wait for him. Since Zach is out on a mission, it's obvious what decision he made. And since I am writing this post, it is obvious what decision I made. But was it an easy decision? Not even a little. Would it have been easier to forget about him and try to find someone else? Probably. But when you feel like you love someone as much as I love Zachary, you have to take chances like that.

Waiting for a missionary is risky. I have a lot of friends who are waiting or have waited, and about half of them haven't worked out. Some dumped their missionary while he was out, some got dumped by their missionary while he was out, and some had the boy come home only to find out they don't click anymore. You never know what is going to happen,  you can only hope for the best. This is also why I don't tell people that Zach and I are going to get married. What bothers me more than anything is when people ask, "Are you going to marry your missionary?" Do I look like a freaking psychic? I can't tell the future. Do I hope to marry him? Yes. But do I know if I'm going to? It is impossible to know before he's even home. Things might have been perfect before he left and they may be perfect on paper, but two years is a long time to change. When he gets home it'll be like dating someone new, and we'll need time to get to know each other all over again.

Zach and I get to do something most couples never get. We get a second chance at making things perfect. We get to go through the "honeymoon phase" all over again. We get to have another first date, another first kiss, more butterflies, and new memories. We get a chance at redoing everything we did wrong. We get to try all over to make our relationship as perfect as we can. We are so lucky to have this opportunity, and whether starting over brings us closer together or farther apart, it'll be an experience worth having.

Six months left. May, June, July, August, September, home in October. That's it. We went from twenty-four months to six. One fourth of his mission. 730 days to 182ish. I'm praying these last six months go by as fast as the first eighteen did.

I love my missionary and can't wait to see him this fall!

I should only stress about important things like bears, but I can't help but stress about this!

Long title for a blog post, I know I know.

There are a few things that I am good at. I work well with handicapped children and adults, I'm a pretty good babysitter, and I can be easily entertained. But one thing I am not good at is Math. It's so hard because I just can't remember it. I can pay attention in class, I can take notes, and I understand it. But once it gets to the homework or test, my mind goes blank. If I am being walked through the problem, I can do it no problem. I just can't do it by myself. Because of this, I have decided to take a break from school. It is the hardest decision I have ever made. I want to get a degree and I want to be the best person I can be, but I feel like Math is holding me back. . .

Maybe it's not even the math, maybe it's just me. Maybe I don't have the motivation I should for school; actually I know I don't. I don't know why I haven't been motivated lately, I'm just having a hard time wanting to go on with it. I'm having a hard time seeing the big picture. It blows because I feel like a failure, like I'm giving up, like I'm a horrible and lazy person, but I don't know what else to do. I'm unhappy and can't figure out how to fix it. I'm praying that taking a break from school will help put my mind back where it should be, help make me realize how important school is, and help me find that motivation I lost. It won't be easy not going to school, but I don't know what else to do. I need to get my life back in order and I'm crossing my fingers that this is the right direction my life should be heading in at the moment. . .

Really nervous about this decision. . .sigh.

The Month of May

I cannot wait for May! It is going to be a fantastic month! There are quite a few things going on that I am freaking out about!
To start, the weather will be nicer and that means more sun, more heat, less jackets! (I love Spring!)

I have made so many friends since Zachary has left, and I love them all to death! The first weekend in May I get to go hang out with some of them and I am so excited! These girls bring out the best in me and make me so happy, I can't wait to be around them!

Allred is playing in May and I am hoping so bad that I will be able to go to it! It has been so long since I've been to one of his concerts! Too long!

Spring semester of school is ending! I will be done with school for, quite a while. I am taking a break to get some of my life organized, get some more money saved, take some time for me, and find ways to be happy. Being happy is something I often struggle with, and I am very excited to be a little more stress free and be able to focus on myself a little more. Woo!

I get to go on a tour of a fire station and the zoo for work and I am so excited! It will be so fun, (as long as none of the clients have any behaviors,) I love the zoo! And firefighters!

Mother's day is in May! I am not  mother, but I have one! And I got her a pretty awesome gift. (I love my mom!) But also, missionaries get to call their families on Mother's day, and some of the lucky girlfriends get invited to the houses to talk to their missionary also. I'm one of the lucky ones, and I am so excited! It will be our last phone call, and then five months later we'll be able to talk face to face again! I am getting so anxious and impatient and EXCITED!

I will be paying off most of my car loan! I am paying extra on my loan this month and in May, so that by June my car will be paid off! No more car payments and more money to save! Heck yes!

I was lucky enough to get a ticket to Bruno Mars' concert at the end of May, (thank you so so much mom!!)So I will get to go to that with my best friend in the entire world, my little sister, Brooklyn! I love her and I love Bruno Mars, so it will be so fun! Also, neither of us have been to a concert this big so it should be pretty exciting!


Wooo! Can May just get here faster PLEASE!?